Martha, Martha, Martha.

Martha Coakley is going to lose the special election today.

AND She’s not only going to lose to a “none-of-this-Mitt Romney-moderate-bullshit”, staunch Republican—whose party hasn’t filled this seat in over thirty freaking years for the great state of Massachusetts—she’s gonna lose to a Republican nobody named Scott Brown. And I’ll be nice and say that by “nobody” I only mean he is (or was) a relatively unknown candidate.

Let’s just call it like I see it, okay?

Sure, Coakley is a great attorney general. And her performance as the DA in Middlesex is fine too, with some fuck-ups, of course. Hey, if you wanna talk about rapists, how about this former PRESIDENTIAL candidate who also fucked up in the rape dept. Let’s not go there. And, btw, just because I’m predicting her defeat doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily what I am hoping for. Fuck Brown, too. Fuck em both. VOTE FOR PEDRO!

Alright, alright. BUT

This chick is gonna lose quite simply because she has choked under pressure so many times (you know, like the Chargers did on Sunday) and totally screwed herself in this campaign, so much that all the star power and heavy endorsements,etc., etc. aren’t gonna save her today. Obama was as effective on her behalf as he was for the Chicago Olympics. And clearly, based on the latest polls, he isn’t doing much to convince the voters. Not surprisingly, this is another election that’s going to come down to the Independent vote. We are the least popular party—though I hesitate to even call it such—and yet the most important. That’s right I said it. It had to be said. Obviously, each candidate has the support of their respective party, unless you’re John McCain back in 2000, (ouch!), yet currently Brown is destroying Coakley with almost 65% of support from independents.

So what the hell happened, huh?

Generally, Americans aren’t satisfied with the Democratic leadership, Obama in particular, and they are growing frustrated and impatient. Coakley’s loss will be a reflection of this. And it will send a strong message to DC Dems about what future elections will mean for them if the economy and other issues aren’t improved upon. And soon.

But the more specific problem is that Ms. Coakley (and the Democrats for that matter) has a slight case of hubris. She’s pulled out so many pages from the original pantsuit wearing blondie’s campaign book it’s just dumb. We now know that that other lady : : cough : : Hillary : : cough : : felt so entitled to the presidency that she planned her transition into the White House a year in advance, losing a real sense for the campaign itself and underestimating another little unknown candidate who began the race with little funds and endorsements as well. The whole world knows who won that election, so why isn’t Coakley paying more attention?

And that’s not to say that Mr. Brown is in any way, shape, or form an Obama-like candidate (come on!) but it does say something about what one should and should not expect in an American campaign, the former: to take the other candidate seriously and the latter: busting your ass from start to finish. Unlike Hillary Clinton however, Martha Coakley hasn’t earned her victory in this special election and therefore doesn’t deserve this Class 1 seat into the United States Senate, plain and simple. Mr. Brown is right: this is not Ted Kennedy’s seat to fill, this seat belongs to the people of Massachusetts. He has worked harder, run a decent campaign, and most importantly, he’s taken nothing for granted. There is no such thing as a “shoe-in” in politics. No such thing.

So for all her blunders, fuck-ups, and gaffes that rival Joe Biden (to name a few), what’s the case for voting Coakley today? None really, but some would argue it’s Healthcare reform. And this is where I have to come to Ms. Coakley’s defense and rag on that party of Asses she belongs to.

The Dem’s : : cough : : Obama : : cough: : have played this entire healthcare gig like the fucking San Diego Chargers, not putting up their best fight and continuing a great winning streak when it really matters. So now what, all the pressure gets put on Martha Coakley, who like that kicker during the game on Sunday, keeps fucking up and missing her chance to score some points? What a horrible position to be in. EVERYBODY KNOWS THE KICKER SHOULD BE THE LAST RESORT TO WIN A GAME. Okay, she’s the crucial 60th vote. Fine. But what else? ? ? Is that really the best you’ve got? Why should Massachusetts vote for her otherwise?

I vote for people, not anyone’s half-assed agenda. Even Barack Obama’s.

So she loses. The healthcare vote gets rushed before what’s-his-face becomes the active senator, full power asskissing to Olympia Snowe or Lieberman finally pulls his head out of his ass, and hopefully the bill passes. The end. And maybe the end of a filibuster-proof majority will motivate the Democrats to fight harder, get tough even, as they try to pass this bill.

So Martha Coakley is going to lose the special election today by an impressive margin (my guess is 6%). And if she wins, it will ONLY be by the skin of her teeth. Or a miracle of God. Sadder than this however, and what I’ve been dreading to admit all along is the great irony of this whole election. *Healthcare reform will die in Massachusetts, the state whose former senator, Ted Kennedy, was its greatest champion.*

Sucks for Coakley. I mean, how would YOU feel if you lost to a Cosmo douche like this?:

[Insert Howard Dean scream here!]

* * *
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. –Plato


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