Ugh. I must have gained at least 3 pounds last weekend. One for every day I “survived” was stuck at home, waiting for  the Hurricane Tropical Storm heavy rainfall people keep calling “Irene” to pass by my city. What the fuck, people. I know chicks with heavier periods than that shit. I don’t know what’s going on, with the weather or with people’s behavior patterns, but I’d say that both these things need to change. And the sooner the better. I mean, did you see how everyone was freaking out? What was the deal? I know there was a hurricane scare and all, but please. First it was the Laughter Shock that hit the city the week before, and now it was this. I don’t get people’s way of thinking sometimes. It’s like, why are we always fluctuating between such extreme reactions to things? It’s counterproductive. And it’s annoying.  If we know there’s a giant-ass hurricane tearing through the Earth and headed our way, do you think the first reaction should be to buy up all the fucking food in the supermarket and leave all the shelves in the stores empty? What exactly are you trying to prepare for–a weather emergency or the fucking Apocalypse? Because let me just say that there’s only so much you can do to prepare for the former, but there’s absolutely nothing you can do to prepare for the end of the fucking world. If you could, wouldn’t that just defeat the purpose of it? It’s not called the end of the world for nothing. It’s because nobody will fucking survive it. And why people think they can or even try just baffles me. I’m all for preparing and taking necessary precautions. I’m all about being responsible and I like to follow through. I can take orders when the time calls. So I’m not annoyed that people went out and supplied themselves with any items they think they would need when the storm hit. I’m annoyed because most people carried out either of two absurd plans of action, which involved buying up all the  shit they could think of and going overboard, or acting like complete idiots and ignoring the advice of the authorities to evacuate and secure their safety and not preparing at all. They said they were “thrill seekers” who wanted to see where the storm goes and just “stick it out.” I guess there isn’t much of a bigger thrill than dying, so you can’t get any more adventurous than that. I saw people on the news hanging out at the beach just hours before the storm was supposed to reach the Jersey Shore, tanning and hitting the waves. The next day when Irene paid her visit to New York City, I heard about a surfer who died in a “tragic” accident in the ocean that morning. I don’t care how insensitive this sounds, but that guy’s death was no fucking tragedy. It wasn’t even sad. It sucks, but because that death could have totally been avoided, I’d say it was completely stupid, and that’s all it was. If there’s one day you should not be surfing, it’s the day a mass hurricane is ripping through the ocean and heading straight for you. How many warnings do people need before they take something seriously and listen? I’m not much of a fan of government, but it’s moronic to dismiss the precautionary actions of our leaders all the time. They do get things right every now and then, and sometimes, we should actually listen to what they have to say. In this case, I was impressed by the way both Governor Christie (R-NJ) and Mayor Bloomberg (I-NY) handled this emergency. I don’t know how many times I saw them warning people, holding press conferences talking about the course of action in the days ahead of the storm, and how quickly they were able to set up evacuation areas and emergency responders in those specific counties most vulnerable to damage and destruction. If anything, at one point I was irritated at how many times those fuckers interrupted my shows to talk about the same shit over and over involving the hurricane. It was like “Dude, I fucking got it. Hurricane coming. Death big possibility. Get water. I got it.” Shit. I got the message the first time, but I guess you can never assume everyone is like you and underestimate the power of stupidity. Now matter how many times you say the same thing and show people the way, there’s always an idiot out there who won’t get it. Fortunately for us in The City, in the end, after Irene came and went, it proved to be less of an emergency than previously thought. Not much of a hurricane. Just some serious rain. I did do some shopping before the “big day” and stocked up on a few things. Nothing hurricane specific, but I did get a buttload of water. And that in itself not unusual because I always buy huge cases of Poland Spring water each week at the supermercado (I’m a water snob, it’s Poland Spring or bust.) I was hosting a giant sleepover at my house that weekend so I included some food items in my shopping, creating my own version of a hurricane survival kit. This included boxes of brownie mix, chips and dip, cold-cuts, more chips, and hard cider and lemonade. That’s right, because I am so wild. For some reason, I wasn’t very worried about everything. I was totally OK about it. I did what I had to do to make it through the weekend, and yes, I made sure my flashlight had batteries, and put all the candles I had around in one spot just in case. You never know, right? And I did stay on top of the news for updates. But after that, I really didn’t let myself get caught up in it all. Neither over prepared nor careless. It is what it is. I just realized that I say that a lot. “It is what it is.” I made the brownies and we ended up eating most of the food by Saturday. We played board games and watched TV. We had a huge movie marathon. We took naps and ate some more. And then we ate after eating. Like, what else is there to do? Panic? Become frozen in fear and silence? Wait for whatever is going to happen, happen? I don’t fucking think so. Not in my house. Not if I’m around. There’s only so much you can do against Mother Nature. There’s only so much you try to stop life from happening. Be prepared, yes. Do the best you can, yes. Get together with family and friends, people you love and stick it out together, hell yes. But let a natural disaster become the end-all, be-all of your life? No fucking way. Prepared or not, the future will never be known to anyone and it is guaranteed to happen. You have a say in it, you can shape it and determine the best course of action for it, but it’s not yours to know. And what happened here last weekend? People freaked out, and people didn’t freak out. And both of those reactions didn’t affect shit. The storm still came and went as it was. It didn’t come as the hurricane everyone said it would be, and it wasn’t something people could just “stick out” and take lightly. It was exactly what it needed to be and that’s all we could ask for. The biggest moments of our lives are ones which we are not really prepared for. We may think we are, but then that moment happens that drops us on our ass and gives us a reality slap. BAM! It’s when we least expect it and when we’re not ready for it that the moment strikes. We prepare today and nothing happens. Tomorrow we will not see it coming and it will hit us without warning. Every day there is a struggle. Do what you have to do to survive it, without taking away from that day’s gifts and possibilities. I had a relaxing weekend, and spent quality time with people I carry in my heart. I gained weight because there was an abundance of food in the house. I wanted and needed for nothing. So there was heavy winds and rainfall for a couple of days and I was pushed to stay inside the house. I like the rain and I like my house. Not much of an inconvenience there. We can see our blessings everywhere if we just take a moment to look. Be thankful. And put your life in proper perspective. Especially when it becomes difficult to do so.

Just remember that it can’t rain all the time.


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