#21. Forever 18

You die from natural causes.

You  ascend toward a warm, white light. You immediately realize you have entered the afterlife. . .and (much to your surprise) it is exactly like the clichéd, kindergarten version of Christian Heaven. The ground is covered by a white, cloud like fog. Angels fly around you and play the harp. You are wearing a comfortable, white robe. Everyone there is aimlessly walking around, smiling broadly perfectly content; this it seems, is how you will spend eternity.

Upon your arrival, you are greeted by Jesus (and he looks exactly like the stereotypical depicition of Jesus). “Welcome to Heaven,” he says. “I think you will like it here, and I look forward to loving you unconditionally for the duration of time. But I also realize that Heaven isn’t necessarily for everyone, so I always give newcomers a chance to go to the other place, is that’s what they would prefer.” 

“Are you referring to hell?” you say in response.

“Oh, no,” says Jesus. “Not hell. Certainly not hell. I would never send you to hell. But you can go somewhere that isn’t here. It’s another viable post-life option. About eighteen percent of our potential residents go in that direction.”

“What is the other place like?” you ask.

“I can’t tell you,” says Jesus. “But if you do elect to go there, you can never come back here. And you only have twenty minutes to decide.”

“Why only twenty?” you ask.

“Because I’m Jesus,” says Jesus.

What do you do? 

* * *


One thought on “Oh, Jesus!

  1. Stay in heaven…I didn’t put up with all this crap while I was alive not to be in heaven. You know how many people I would have cursed out and didn’t!!! I need my eternal vacation. In all seriousness, as much as I trust Jesus, I am not sure that I will walk into something without knowing what to expect. If heaven is the way I always pictured it to be.. then I do not want to be anywhere else.

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